The press has made its final run

It's 4:20 a.m. and I should be exhausted, but I'm not. Tonight was the last night at the Collegian. Wow. Just typing it makes it seem more real. Yet, it's going to take a while to actually sink in.

And it was a wonderful night. Seeing the Collegian come off the presses was awesome, as was holding a newly printed one in my hands. The printer is ancient, from '72, so billions of papers must have come off of it.

Incredible.

I love the seniors I shared tonight with so much. And have to admit, I went a little picture crazy. But it's something I never want to forget. They're friends I'll always remember and cherish. Also, thanks to the sports boys, I didn't cry. They had me laughing with their crazy jokes and antics the whole time. It made it seem less like the end of things and much more just like a fun, exciting night. I took dozens of photos and may post a few here at a later point.



I even had a nice chat with Eddie and Kurt on the ride back. And it's so strange how in one semester -- and my last at that -- I became closer to the sports staff and also my desk girls. Makes it so much more of a family.

My only regret from tonight is that I didn't say goodbye to Dave. With all that was going on it just slipped my mind ... :( Hopefully somehow I'll see him again before graduation.

There's two weeks left. The end is near, but it's not here yet.

It's been a long and winding road

I'm sitting in the Collegian. Andrew and Rossilynne are talking in her office. The maintenance people are cleaning and replacing garbage bags. Allison is reading page 2.

It's my last night as a slot editor. Dave just tightened my last page. I wrote my last headline, pulled my last AP brief ... and made my last mark on the Collegian.

Tomorrow starts the crazy-ness. I'll be in the Collegian for as much of it as I can (though with a little time in front of Old Main in my favorite spot reading). Though I'm not slotting tomorrow, I want to be here with my friends, my family, for one last night. And then after page 2 is turned in we pile into cars and head to Lewistown for the final press run.

Then Tom's picnic, then the formal, then the senior picnic, then finals ... then reality.

I realized today I spent NINE semesters at the Collegian. More semesters than I even took classes.

Maybe if I just don't go to bed tomorrow will never come and everything won't have to end.

Senior Column: Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance

My senior column, the last thing written by me to be published in the Collegian. Also, one of the hardest things I've ever had to write.

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2010/04/28/destiny_is_a_matter_of_choice.aspx

I'll be excited for the future -- after May 15

"Aren't you excited?"

It's a phrase uttered from a dozen or so people since I was offered a job at the Carroll County Times. And while I know the answer should be "YES!", it's not -- at least not yet.

Because in knowing I will soon leave Penn State, I've been taking more stock of the things I will miss about it. The simplest things, including going out for dinner and coffee with a friend or drinks at Mad Mex. Old Main ringing out "Hail to the Lion" on my way to class. Waving to friends I pass by while walking ... well, anywhere.

I know I will be excited for my job after graduation. And I am so blessed to have found one. There are so many of my friends who are still searching, but probably even more deserving of a job than me.

But I want to take it one day and one moment at a time.

When I leave and know that I can't go back, only forward, then I'll be excited for all that lies ahead.

Fight on, State

Today was the Blue-White game and the last time I was in Beaver Stadium as a student. It was surreal thinking about it, being there and knowing even when I return as an alum it won't quite be the same.

The Collegian also held a tailgate, which went really well. I was so glad at the amount of people who showed up. Thanks for coming, everyone! There was a lot of food, a lot of laughs and a little bit of football.

Thinking back, I can't recall skipping a single game during the past four years. All in all I probably attended at least 28 games in Beaver Stadium.

I remember my first White Out, where I didn't think anything could be more amazing than being with more than 100,000 other fans decked out in white and screaming "We Are!" I remember basically getting frostbite on my fingers and toes with my best friend from home during the last game of the semester last fall. And now I'll remember one last time in the stadium with a group of friends made late into my college career -- but ones I couldn't imagine this semester without.

And as I walked away from the stadium I actually didn't feel too sad. No tears came to my eyes. Because while I'll miss the camaraderie and chaos of the student section, I'll always be able to watch my Nittany Lions play. Even if I'm watching alone I'll know there are hundreds of thousands of fans cheering along with me.

I don't do goodbyes well

Here it comes, the hardest part of my impending graduation: goodbyes. I hate them. I don't do them well. My heart breaks a little when I have to say goodbye.

A lot of people say, it's not really goodbye but see you later. And in some cases that's true. But not all.

Tonight I had to say goodbye to Sharkey, one of the members of the professional staff at the Collegian. And, sadly, I have a feeling it may be a true goodbye. After spending three semesters hearing him call me "katiedid" and joking with him and Dave it's hard to comprehend not having him tighten up pages back in shop for me.

And this is just the first of many goodbyes, and not the hardest. I'm not made for this. I'm far too sentimental. That's why I'm going to find it so hard to leave. Some people can't wait to be out of here and onto the next chapter. But what I'm not ready for is the characters in this chapter of my life to change. I know that means new people will fill the pages of my life, but I love the ones who I am sharing it with now.

Makes me think of a quote from one of my favorite books, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer:

"So many people enter and leave your life. Hundreds of thousands of people. You have to keep the door open so they can come in. But it also means you have to let them go."

From the beginning to the end

A friend at the Collegian put his first article as his G-chat status, which gave me the urge to find mine.

It seems so long ago I sat on my bed in Hoyt Hall and called Jeff Van Fossan and Jesse Ruegg for the first time.

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2006/10/10-18-06tdc/10-18-06darts-02.asp

While the article certainly isn't my crowing achievement, it shows how far I have come since then. I can still remember how nervous and excited I was for it. How I wasn't sure what to ask them or who to call. I even e-mailed my mom my rough draft of the article, looking for support and advice. I was beyond thrilled to actually get a chance to talk to the band, and though now I realize that's not uncommon, as a shy freshman it was incredible.

In two weeks my last piece of work will be published in the Collegian, a senior column. Because I went into editorship so early on in my Collegian career I don't have as many articles to look back on as some of my peers -- but the ones I do have aren't clips for job and internship applications any more, they're memories.

And this little story I wrote my freshman year will always be my favorite article.

Wonderful weekend in Phila.

This weekend was incredibly busy, but awesome nonetheless.

A group of Penn Staters went to the ACES conference in Philly. We left before the sun rose at 6 a.m. and headed toward the city. The ride went smoothly and we arrived just a little after 9 a.m. We signed in, got some ACES swag and met up with Stacey.

The first seminar we went to was on job interview etiquette and resume dos and don'ts. I thought it was really informative and interesting to hear the professionals opinions. I also ran into my boss at the Carroll County Times after the seminar. It was really nice seeing him there.

Then there was a lunch for students at the conference. It was really nice to sit and talk with other people in the profession and get the opinion of some younger journalists with real world experience.

After lunch we went to my favorite seminar on the AP Stylebook. It was fun to be in a room with like minded people who wanted to know the reasoning for many of the styles. They also announced the change of Web site to website and that they will reconsider getting rid of abbreviations for states. There were many passionate discussions at the seminar and I found it fascinating.

After the last seminar we all piled in our cars and headed to the Phils game!! Despite the rain, I had a blast. We were up in the nose bleeds but the view was excellent and we had the overhang to keep us dry. Citizens Bank Park was amazing. Such a nice ballpark. Despite the downpour Halladay pitched great and it was an excellent game. (except toward the end when the Marlins scored three runs, but we had left by that part.)

All in all an amazing weekend. And I was so glad I got to go to a Phils game before graduation. One of my life goals accomplished. :)

Looking for a little friend

After a bit of thought I have decided that when I move I want a cat. Now, the tough part about this is the fact that my mom is allergic to cats. But she gave me the go ahead to get one.

But I don't want it to cause problems for her. She won't be able to stay in my apartment for long if I get one, and I'll have to be meticulously careful about having cat hair on my clothes. I tried to think of other options for a little friend to have in my apartment. But none seem to be as good an idea as a cat.

I would love a dog, but they're a.) expensive b.) require a lot of attention and c.) I've never had one before so I don't know what would go into their training/care.

A bird isn't as ... cuddly. Bunnies and hamsters tend to smell and can be sort of boring. A bird would be an OK option, but I want something that I can cuddle with and will keep me company.

So a cat seems to be the best option. They are independent, cuddly, cute and probably not extremely hard to take care of.

Cat lovers/owners, what do you think? Are cats pretty hassle free pets? Also, where is the best place to get a cat?

I mean, look at how cute!

It's happening

I bought my cap and gown. 2 1/2 weeks of classes. 4 1/2 weeks until graduation. 6 1/2 weeks until I move to Maryland.



Live it up. Live it up. Live it up.

I should not use this as procrastination...

When you know something is ending, it makes you reflect on all the things you will miss about it so much more sharply.

Even schoolwork.

I'm (attempting) to write an essay for my Wilderness Literature class on "Dances with Wolves" and "O! Pioneers." It is proving kind of difficult because I don't know what direction I want my argument to take and that makes me so glad after this I only have one more essay to write ... possibly ever (unless I got to graduate school, which is an acute possibility).

So, of course, I am looking forward to no more school work. No tests, essays, assignments and silly busy work.

But then again... I like learning.

That's why I am here, isn't it? To soak up as much knowledge as possible. While graduating doesn't mean I stop learning, it's going to be different.

So I'll say it -- I'm going to miss taking classes. I complain, I gripe and sometimes I don't want to get up for my 9 a.m., and then I'm in class and a great discussion comes up and I get so excited to learn something new, to hear different viewpoints from my classmates. I'll miss those awe-inspiring moments.

Plus, procrastination is fun. After graduation I can't think of anything I'd have to procrastinate on. Considering deadlines for newspapers are a little different than deadlines for college essays, I won't procrastinate at work.

So while I will probably be the happiest person in Happy Valley the minute I turn in my math final -- I am going miss taking classes. Though not all, quite a few of them were amazing, eye opening experiences.

Life goal #2836

Walk through the summer rain while singing "Singing in the Rain." Loudly.

Summer goals, part one: Movie madness

Though I plan on spending as much time this summer exploring Maryland and finding volunteer opportunities, I know I'll still have a lot of time on my hands before work and on my random days off (Sundays and Mondays).

So I definitely am going to get a subscription to either Blockbuster mail-ins or Netflix.

Any recommendations? My dad had Netflix for a long time but then switched over to Blockbuster, which allowed him to not just mail back movies but also trade them in at the store. The downside was that after a few months the Blockbuster movies kept taking longer and longer to arrive so he switched back.

However, I am going to get one of these services, and I need to start compiling a list of movies I haven't seen to rent.

So, I'm looking for some suggestions!!!

I haven't seen "Citizen Kane" yet so that is on my list. As is "Pulp Fiction." And while I am a little terrified to see it, I'll also rent "The Exorcist" -- which I will be sure to watch during the middle of a sunny day.

But if there is a movie you think I should definitely rent, let me know!!

Choosing a path

One of my best friends at Penn State, Lisa, recently asked me to write a recommendation for her for the Peace Corps. And as I fill it out, I'm thinking about how I wanted to join the Peace Corps myself. But I don't think it is for me. And while I never thought it would be something Lisa would be interested in, she has convinced me that it would be a great experience for her.

That also makes me think about all the different paths my friends will take after graduation. I haven't spent as much time as I should have with Lisa this year, one of the few regrets I have. It's so hard with our schedules and she is also busy planning her wedding in July. But I can't wait to watch her and her fiance Dan get married. And while I will worry for her if she is accepted into the Peace Corps, I hope she does get in and is able to follow her dreams.

We all choose such different lives for ourselves.

And graduating is just the beginning. I wish I could do something a little more off the beaten path -- like the Peace Corps -- but journalism has been my calling for so long.

Despite that, I plan to do something different when I move to Maryland. I want to do charity work or help others in some way. That's one reason why I love copy editing -- I have total freedom during the day. While I was in Naples, Fla., last summer I volunteered at the Collier County Literary Volunteers center. I cataloged the organizations small library. It was so great to help others and a very rewarding experience -- as well as a way to meet new people.

I hope to do the same in Carroll County. Maybe volunteer at the library or the downtown arts center. Maybe I'll volunteer at more than one place. It'll make me feel more like a part of the community and will be a rewarding way to fill up my days.

Everybody's got a different story

I'm really not good at staying with blogs. I create them and then forget about them. But here's another attempt. Because this time I'm not picking a specific theme for this blog. I'll soon be on an adventure and I don't know where it will lead me, so this blog has no direction.

With just three weeks until my college graduation there's so much going on in my head that I want to put into words -- and this will be my release of all those thoughts and feelings.

I have a job lined up in Maryland at the Carroll County Times. And people keep asking me if I am excited. And I am. But, it's terrifying. Maybe if I didn't have so much here to leave behind I wouldn't be terrified. This place has become so much a part of me. Penn State has been my home for only four years, but I feel like I have been here for forever. Despite the beauty and wonder of this place, what I don't want to leave behind the most is the people. My friends, my family. And also the Collegian -- my third home.

This blog will follow my adventures into the the real world. There is so much I'm scared to leave behind, but there is also so much ahead of me. In seven weeks I will be on my own. And while I'll never be ready to leave Penn State, I think I'm ready for the real world.